A Wife Worth Finding, A Woman Worth Being

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Beautiful is a word we’ve been talking about for 2 weeks now.

But what does it actually mean to be beautiful?

What does it look like to be a woman worth marrying, a daughter worth raising and a woman worth being?

That’s what we’ll be looking at this week as we wrap up our series Beautiful, we will look at Proverbs 31:10 – 31 and see the picture of a woman who in the eyes of God, is the goal of all women.

For single guys, these verses give you a picture of what you are looking for in a wife. For parents, these verses show you what kind of daughter you are to raise and what kind of woman you are to help your son find. For women, this is a picture of what God calls you to be and has designed you to become over the course of your life.

This is a talk that hits everyone in our church and is incredibly relevant in a culture that has no idea what a beautiful woman is like or what it means to find a wife worth finding. Because of that, it’s a great week to be at Revolution and bring someone with you. 

Don’t forget as well, we are one week away from kicking off our man series Fight

Remember, we meet at 10am on Sunday mornings at 8300 E Speedway Blvd.

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Beautiful starts in 2 Weeks!

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We are doing something this year at Revolution that we’ve never done before. After we finish our Breathing Room series we will do a series geared to women and one geared to men. Don’t worry though, each week will have clear relevance and application to everyone.

Here’s what is happened starting January 26th:

Even when you don’t feel it. Even when you’re not happy. Even when you feel condemned. Right now, someone thinks you are BEAUTIFUL. God wants you to see yourself the same way. Join us Jan. 26 – Feb. 9 for Beautiful, a series for women and the men who pursue them.

Our pastor, Josh and his wife Katie will be teaching this series together as we look at what God created women to be, how to become that woman, and what the roadblocks are to becoming that woman. We’ll look at body image issues, how to let go of your past, how to use your tongue in a positive way, and the legacy you should strive for as a woman. We will also talk to men about how to help their wives become this woman, how a single guy finds a girl that God calls “Beautiful” and how to raise girls who are “Beautiful” in the eyes of God. Here’s what we’ll look at specifically:

January 26: Me, Beautiful?
February 2: Letting Go of Your Past
February 9: The Priorities of a Woman

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What’s Happening in 2014 at Revolution Church

One of my favorite parts of my job is preaching. I love the time that goes into sermon prep, the agony of trying to nail a big idea, make Scripture as easy to understand as possible and then standing on a stage and communicating those truths. I love the life change that the Holy Spirit brings on a weekly basis and that people come back!

This spring, we are doing some things at Revolution on Sunday mornings that I’m incredibly excited about. Here they are:

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On December 29th, we are kicking off a series called Breathing Room. We’ll look at how we often live without breathing room. In relationships, finances, our schedule, pace, life and family. We leave little to no breathing room, running from thing to thing, spending money we don’t have. And in the end, we squeeze life out of us. Here’s what we’ll look at:

December 29: Squeezed
January 5: Time Management
January 12: How to be Rich
January 19: Choosing to Cheat – When Work and Family Collide

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From there, we will do something we have never done before at Revolution: a series geared totally to women called Beautiful. My wife Katie will join me on stage and help me teach this series as we look at what God created women to be, how to become that woman, what are the roadblocks to becoming that woman. We’ll look at body image issues, how to let go of your past, how to use your tongue in a positive way, and the legacy you should strive for as a woman. We will also talk to men about how to help their wives become this woman, how a single guy finds a girl that God calls “Beautiful” and how to raise girls who are “Beautiful” in the eyes of God. Here’s what we’ll look at specifically:

January 26: Me, Beautiful?
February 2: Letting Go of Your Past
February 9: The Priorities of a Woman

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That’s not the only new thing we are doing on Sunday mornings this spring. Right after Beautiful, we will do a series geared towards men called Fight. For this series, we will use the life of Samson to see the battles that men fight with their past, their present and their future. We’ll look at what plagues men and keeps them from becoming the man God created them to be, what men who win those battles do that other men don’t, how a wife can help her husband become the man God created him to be, how to help your daughter find a man worth having, how a single woman can find that man and how to raise sons who become the men who win the battles that matter most. Here’s what we’ll cover in this series:

February 16: When Strong Men are Weak
February 23: Emotions that Take Strong Men Down
March 2: You’re One Decision Away from Wrecking Your Life
March 9: Failing Forward

For more information on Sunday mornings at Revolution Church, go here.

Links of the Week

  1. Mark Driscoll on The pastor and his wife get to pick their own friends Part 1Part 2 and Part 3. This is a helpful post as it is difficult to pick friends when you are a pastor or a pastor’s wife. People either stay away or they really want to be your friend, both because you are the pastor. Some good things here.
  2. John Piper on gay marriage. Some helpful biblical insights into this issue and what Scripture has to say about it and what our response as followers of Jesus should be.
  3. Ron Edmondson on Pastors learning to say “no.”
  4. Husband, Understand your Wife.
  5. Michael Hyatt on What are you doing to protect your marriage?
  6. Children are a glorious inconvenience. I love having our daughter Ava in the service each week. Is it hard? Sometimes. It is worth it for her to be part of the community, see worship, hear teaching, watch adults be the church? Yes.
  7. Are romance novels porn for women?
  8. I’m not a Christian, but I’m coming to your church this weekend. Great reminders for pastors and churches.
  9. Thabiti Anyabwile on Don’t make your pastor a statistic.
  10. A sovereign God and human action.

Ava is 5

Today, my little girl turned 5. It really is hard to believe. Every year, I write a kids a letter on their birthday chronicling their year, what they learned, what is happening in our world as a family, etc. When they turn 18, I plan to give them a stack of letters as my way of helping to chronicle the story of their life.

Tonight, I preached on “Raising a girl to become a woman” as part of our parenting series. You can listen to it here. I finished my talk by reading the letter I wrote for Ava this year and thought I’d share it with you:

Ava,

I am amazed that right now I am writing this letter while you sit in the first week of kindergarten. Right now, I am sitting the middle of a rain storm on the porch of a coffee shop on Mt. Lemmon. The last 5 years of your life have been incredible, they have also been tumultuous for us as a family. In 5 short years, you have lived in 5 different states and 6 houses. I have worked in 4 different churches. Most recently, we started Revolution Church in Tucson which is home.

While I hope and pray that this does not adversely affect you, I am beginning to see how it has shaped you. You have learned how to interact with many different people. Moving around has seemed to create in you a soft heart.

By the time you read this, you will have probably heard all the jokes about pastor’s kids and how terrible they often turn out, how they tend to be more sinful than any other child in the church. I’m praying that will be different for you and I am beginning to see why I believe that prayer will be answered. It has to do with your heart.

Right now at Revolution, I am preaching a parenting series called the perfect kid. The idea behind the series is that unless God gets a hold of a child’s heart, nothing matters. I can’t make you love God, I can’t make you act like a Christian or even talk like one. I can’t make you have a kind, generous, serving heart. God has to change your heart to be that way. Right now, your mom and I are beginning to see how God is changing your heart. How he is making you into a little girl who looks and acts like Jesus.

Everything from how you pray for people at night, you ask if we can pray for people who are hurting, you ask about the needs of people, you share and are a good example not only to your little brothers, but to those around you.

This year, we decided to pursue adopting a child from Ethiopia. While this is a huge leap of faith, and will drastically impact our families in ways I don’t think we even realize. It has been awesome to see how you have wanted to learn about Ethiopia, why little kids don’t have a mom and dad and how we can help. While you could fight and scream, make life difficult as we go through this process and try to raise money for it, you aren’t doing that. Instead, you are helping, talking about it with people, praying for the baby sister (you want a sister, your brothers want a brother) that will one day be a part of our family, a child that God has already picked out for our family.

In fact, in three days (on your birthday) I am preaching about how to raise a girl to become a woman. I’m using Titus 2 as my text. In it, it lays out that if your goal is to move the kingdom of God forward, if your goal is to be a gospel centered woman who pursues God’s dreams for your life, this is what you look like. My sermon is really my prayer for your life. It is what I hope through the power of God to instill in you. It is what I hope you become:

  • To love your husband and children:  It is my job to instill in you the values you need to know how to choose a husband. I will walk with you through this process. I will not send you alone to do the job God has created me to do. I will teach you that love is not just a feeling, but it is a choice of the will that you make that is followed by an emotion. You will have to choose each day to love your husband and your kids. You will not feel like it everyday, but God will give you the power to do so. One of the things I love about your mom is that she models this beautifully, everyday.
  • Self controlled:  I dream that you will be able to know your values and stick to them, even it means missing out on something that you want or desire. Being self controlled means having a long range view on life and seeing things from an eternal perspective. Not giving into to your heart, but protecting it. Not giving it away to every guy who enters your life, but saving it.
  • Pure:  I will teach you the difference between virginity and purity. Being a “virgin” does not make you pure. Purity is so much more. It is protecting your mind, heart and your body. We will talk about what you read, watch, who you hang out with and ultimately, who you marry. A man worth marrying will care about protecting your mind, heart and body as much as I care about protecting your mind, heart and body.
  • Focus on your family and home first:  The world we live in will push you to look out for number 1, it will tell you that having a career is the greatest aspiration you can give your life to, it will tell you that you can have a career of climbing the corporate ladder, memberships to the best country club, the perfect marriage, the perfect kids, you can have it all if you pursue the American dream. It is a fascade. You can’t have it all and you don’t need it all. The greatest thing you can give your life to is eternity. To focusing on your kids to push the kingdom of God forward. You can accomplish more by raising them up to pursue than you can on your own. The power you will hold in your husband’s life is unlike any other power in his life. No one holds the keys to his life the way you do. My life was changed forever when your mom made the choice to stop pursuing her dreams and give her life to the dream of eternity. To push me to be all I could be and to raise you kids to be all God called you to be. While you will not always feel like you are changing eternity, know that you are.
  • Kind:  By this time in your life you have probably met some women who are not kind. Sadly, you have probably been gossiped about and stabbed in the back by people who were supposed to be your friends. I am sure that in 18 years, I as your father have dropped the ball countless times. When I do, know that I will apologize and ask for forgiveness, but it does not take the hurt away right away, scars still exist. Don’t be bitter. If the gospel has transformed your heart, kindness will come out because that is what is in your heart. There is something so attractive about a woman who is kind. People want to be around her, they seek out her counsel and friendship, they want to be her. I want you to be that woman. I want you to not allow scars and pain to define you, but I want God to define you. Your identity is not in your hurt, your dreams and your wants, your identity as a follower of Jesus is in Jesus. That is where your beauty comes from. If a man is not attracted to your character, he is not worth wasting your life on and he will have no shot when he sits across the table from me and asks for your hand. I will have a gun.
  • Submissive:  In the process of helping you find a husband, we, together will look for a man who is worthy of submitting to. He will be what Scripture calls him to be:  a prophet, priest, protector and provider. If he is only 3 of those, he does not pass. He must be all 4, you are worth it and scripture demands it and I have not done my job if he is not all 4. You will want to lead your family, you will want to be in charge, if you are like most women who get married, you will be more talented and smarter than your husband. This is God’s design. Each day, you must choose to follow his lead, to push him to be the pastor of your family, to follow him as he follows God. You must be strong and speak up, challenge him when it is appropriate, but you must also follow him when it is time. You must never disrespect him in front of your kids, always build him up. Your mom is always talking about how strong I am, how hard I work, how I provide for our family in front of you kids. Even writing that makes me want to cry. You must not put him down in public, never bash his work, never say he doesn’t make enough, always encourage him and praise him in front of others. If you find out that you are the only woman you know who does this (which you probably will find out), know that when other women are bashing their husbands, they are bitter, not kind, unfulfilled and they have decided that God’s ways are not the best ways, that the gospel is not powerful enough. Stay on track.
  • That the gospel may not be reviled:  This is the goal of your life and mine. As a follower of Jesus, which I pray everyday for you to become a follower of Jesus, I pray the gospel will be so attractive to you that you can’t imagine life without it. When that day comes, your life and goals and dreams change. It now becomes about moving the gospel forward and honoring God. All the things in this list honor God. It is a different way of living. You will have a hard time finding women who encourage you to become this list, you will have a hard time finding books and mentors who encourage and challenge you to be this woman. I want you to know who will encourage you, me, your mom, your church and God. I will stand with you, challenge you to give your life to a bigger dream. Don’t settle. Life is too short, too precious to not give your life to the transforming power of the gospel and not become this woman that I just listed. You can do it.

This will be a challenge, but one thing I have seen in your 5 short years on this earth is that you step up to challenges. You never give up, you push and push. That will serve you well. God’s dream for you as a woman and women in general is to be a strong woman, a woman with values, a woman with an opinion, a woman who voices that opinion, a woman who challenges and pushed her husband and her kids to be all that God created them to be. You will find that in the life of your husband and your kids, you are the most powerful person in their life. Never forget the power you hold and never forget that God created you with a specific way of using that power and that way is so that the gospel goes forth and lives are transformed and the world is changed.

You are 18 today. I don’t know where you are in life, I don’t know what has happened in the last 13 years, but know that everyday I prayed and begged God for you to have the character of this woman. Your mom and I have given our lives to becoming this woman. And by God’s grace, as you read this, you are that woman.

Love, Your Dad