On January 9th, we launched a brand new series on the book of Nehemiah called Building a City Within the City. Every church, organization or family has a list of seen and unseen things that guide decisions, what they value and how they function. Since we have so many new people at Revolution, I thought it would be good to share what guides us.
#9: We will target men.
Whether you realize it or not, every church and organization has a target. I hear pastors say all the time, “We’re trying to reach everyone.” This sounds right and biblical, but is not possible. Whether a church admits it, they have a target.
What kind of music is played?
How loud is it?
What is the preaching like?
What is the dress like?
How much money and manpower is spent on kids and student ministries?
What time are the services?
These are just a few basic questions. Another way to figure out your target if you don’t know, look at who is coming to your church.
When we started Revolution, we looked at this idea and we looked at who we could best reach with the people already in our church, who was on our heart and who didn’t go to church. Across the nation, the least likely group to go to church are 20 – 40 year old men. So we set out to reach them.
When we think about sermon ideas, music, videos, how we do church, we filter it through the lens of a 20 – 40 year old man.
This gets misinterpreted as “Revolution doesn’t like women.” Nothing could be further from the truth.
Here is one thing that is true about churches. When it comes to graphics, sermons, songs, atmosphere. Women like what men like, but men don’t like what women like. Don’t believe me? Ask a man.
This was brought home to me yesterday. We were hanging out with some new Revolutionaries and she said that before coming to Revolution she was told, “we don’t like women.” We talked with them about it and she shared some of her thoughts about it. I mentioned, that if a woman gets connected at a church in women’s ministry and gets her spiritual needs met, not only does this keep her husband from having to fulfill his God given role as the spiritual leader of the family, but it will keep him from getting connected at that church. He will come home from work, feel tired and think to himself, “She’s connected, I’m tired, so we don’t need to do anything else at church.”
At this point, most women will speak up in disagreement. Yet (and her husband did this), almost all men will say, “That is exactly true.”
Ask most Christian husbands why they aren’t more involved at church and they will eventually tell you it is because they don’t need to be because she is. He is “So and so’s husband.” Too many churches by looking through the lens of women have actually created a place where a man doesn’t want to or feel connected to. (A great book on this is David Murrow’s Why men hate going to church).
The funny thing is that if I didn’t tell you this was our target, you might not be able to tell. We try to do it in subtle ways, but the reality is women will go to church with a man, but it doesn’t always happen the other way around. In fact, I can’t tell you how many women have come up to me and said, “This is the first church my husband likes.”
We believe that biblically, the husband is to lovingly lead his house, he is to pastor his wife (and kids), he is responsible to God for the spiritual well-being of his wife and kids and will one day make an account for this before God. Not the woman. This doesn’t mean that men rule over their wives in a domineering way or always get there way. Men are called to love and serve their wives and kids. But they are also called to lead them spiritually. That’s what we want to do, call men to fulfill their roles and responsibility. We want men to be men.
If we pull this off, we will be the most family friendly church in Tucson.