5 Steps to Wrecking Your Life


On Sunday, I talked about the reality that everyone, man or woman, married, divorced or single, is always one choice away from wrecking their lifeIf you missed it, you can listen to it here.

The question I always wrestle with is, “How?” How is it possible for so many professional athletes to throw it all away to take PED’s? Why do so many people sleep with someone they aren’t married to and lose their marriage? Why do people gamble with their finances and go into debt in hopes of finding the quick fix? Why do people gamble or look at porn while at work and lose their jobs? The list goes on and on.

In his helpful book Impact: Great Leadership Changes Everything by Tim Irwin, he says there are 5 steps to wrecking your life, or as he would say derailing your life. They are:

  1. Lack of self-awareness. This comes when a person doesn’t know what could bring them down. They don’t know what their weaknesses are. Is it money, greed, power, sex, lust, a bigger house or car? What are they willing to trade their marriage, reputation, kids or future in for? If you don’t know that, you will be brought down.
  2. Arrogance or misguided confidence. This is when a person sees someone wreck their life and says, “That could never happen to me.” This is when a person sins once and says, “I already did it once, what is one more time?” They have supreme confidence they can stop whenever or take back control whenever they choose. Or, that it won’t destroy their life.
  3. Missed warning signals. This might be close calls in getting caught, being late to work for staying up too late, conviction from the Holy Spirit that you push away or even evidence that you might get caught.
  4. Rationalization. This is when you start to say things like, “I deserve this.” Or, “This is my only vice.” Or, you blame someone else for your situation. “If my spouse was more attentive.” Or, “If I had a little more money we could get ahead.” Or, “My kids will understand when their older why I had to work like I did.”
  5. Derailment. Eventually, with enough time, enough rationalizations, you hit the wall and derail your life.

The problem is that no one knows when derailment will hit. Some people get away with something for years.


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10 Major Principles of Leader Accountability


I came across this in Tim Irwin’s new book Impact: Great Leadership Changes EverythingIt is from an interview he did with Steve Reinemund, former CEO of PepsiCo on how to hold yourself as a leader accountable:

  1. Get commitments from others to challenge me on a regular basis.
  2. Prepare myself in advance for those spontaneous, unexpected challenges to my integrity.
  3. Create a personal board of directors.
  4. Give veto power over contemplated actions to a respected and knowledgeable colleague.
  5. Hit the pause button for important decisions any time there is a lack of clarity.
  6. Conduct the visibility test – ask if whatever I am considering doing was visible to everyone around me, would I still do it?
  7. Be extremely careful about rationalization – have others test our reasons for contemplated actions.
  8. Heed early warning signals, especially any sense of extreme imbalance in our work and personal lives.
  9. Be clear about what you believe about success.
  10. Take the risk to give followers feedback on their personal behavior.


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10 Lies Leaders Love


This is from Tim Irwin’s new book Impact: Great Leadership Changes EverythingIt is a list of the lies leaders believe that drive self-deception in their lives and often lead to not reaching their potential or falling completely out of the leadership game because of moral failure. They are lies leaders tell themselves to allow them to act in ways they shouldn’t. Sadly, I have believed these at different times and have seen countless pastors fall prey to them.

  1. I’m the smartest person in the room. I have better ideas and better judgement than anyone on the team.
  2. I’m responsible for these results. They could not have done this without me. I did this. 
  3. Everyone is out to get me because they are envious. I am so good, and they can’t stand it. They know I’m on the fast track and are going to try to get me off track.
  4. These people work for me. They have to deliver to my standards. I need them to focus on helping me.
  5. I don’t have to follow normal rules…I deserve special consideration. I have a big job and need to ignore some rules to get my goals accomplished.
  6. I’m entitled to that. I worked hard and made this place what it is. This place was a wreck before I took over. Through my leadership we are finally making some money.
  7. It’s not material. This is a rounding error. No one would begrudge me for taking this.
  8. No one will ever know. We can fudge these numbers a little. Next quarter should be spectacular, and we can restate this quarter’s earnings.
  9. It’s not my fault. I did everything I was supposed to do. Those other guys dropped the ball.
  10. I don’t need to be accountable to anyone. Nobody here really understands what I’m trying to do. It’s only results that the board is after, and I can get those if the rest of the team would get out of my way.


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Links for Your Weekend Reading

Links I Like is a collection of blogs, articles and books I’ve come across recently and thought they were worth sharing. Click here for past Links I Like.


My latest post on The Blog of Manly: How to set goals and accomplish them.

Since we’re now into January and the luster of New Years Resolutions has begun to wear off, I felt like its time to share some ideas on how to set goals and keep them. Resolutions are just that, goals. They are hopes for the future. In December we look at our lives, the things we don’t like about them and set a goal to change that specific area of our lives.

The title makes it clear someone is really important—and that someone is you. God is Not Mad at You, Reposition Yourself, Your Best Life Now, Become a Better You, It’s Your Time… I’m noticing a trend here. Someone’s a pretty big deal, and apparently that someone is me. I feel so much better now. It’s advice that could easily be confused with the message from a fortune cookie.

Brian Howard on How to free up 8 hours in your week.

11 traits of churches that will impact the future.

To reach a changing culture, the church needs to change. Rapidly. Don’t get me wrong, we don’t need to change the message. Just the method. One is sacred. The other is not. What isn’t as clear is what the future church will look like, and what kind of characteristics will mark those churches. However, I think a few trends are becoming clear. Not all of these might be correct, but I think the following eleven traits describe the kind of churches that will have a significant impact a decade from now.

Ron Edmondson on 7 ways a wife is injuring her husband without even knowing it.

It’s an emotional injury. Sometimes those are the worst kind of hurts. The person doing the injuring: His wife. And she…most likely…doesn’t even know she’s doing it.

What one pastor would like to ask President Obama concerning abortion.

Let your husband love you. Great words for wives and moms.

I get it. The kids have been climbing on you all day. One or both of your boobs have been exposed 87% of the day and you’re sick of being clawed at, sucked on, licked, punched, kicked, pulled, snotted on, cried on, spit up on, pooped on, and peed on. You’ve wiped butts and noses and counters and walls all day. You’ve battled attitudes and arched backs and Dora the Explorer since dawn and you’re tired. So. So. Tired. I know. I really really do.

Taylor Gahm on The Gift of Inadequacy (This has a warning on language but the ideas he shares are really good)

More NFL Lip Reading (so funny)
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This Weekend @ Revolution || Making Your Life Count

We’ve been meeting for 4 weeks on Sunday morning as Revolution Church and I have been loving it. I’m so excited for week 5 as we continue our series in the book of Ephesians.

Here’s what is happening this week at Revolution this week:

  1. We’ll be looking at Ephesians 3:1 – 13 if you want to read ahead. We’ll be looking at how God uses people to make an impact and make their life worth living and what it is about the people that God uses. Why do some people make an impact felt for generations and others simply live lives that nobody notices. If you want to live a life that is remembered and felt for generations, you don’t want to miss this week.
  2. Our missional communities are launching next week. If you haven’t signed up yet, go here and do so today. Many have filled up, but there is still space in many. If you aren’t sure what they are, here’s a short video to give you some details.
  3. If you haven’t signed up to join a missional community yet, you need to get a jump on it. Some of them are filled up or filling up and I’d hate to see you miss out on one of the best parts of Revolution Church. We will have sign-ups at the church this week, so I’ll give details on that.

This is definitely a week you don’t want to miss at Revolution Church. So, bring someone with you (you never know when a simple invite will make an eternal difference)

Remember, we meet at 8300 E. Speedway Blvd. at 10am

See you on Sunday!