How Relationships get Fixed

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All of us have experienced a broken relationship. One person hurts another. Maybe you were the one doing the hurting or you were the one being hurt. 

It seems inevitable that if you are going to be in a family, have a job, be friends with someone, you are going to have a relationship at some point experience friction, disagreements or friction.

What do you do when that happens?

I’m really excited for Sunday as we continue our series Changewe’re going to look at the short book of Philemon. 1 page, 25 verses, the story of one relationship that experienced friction and yet was able to be restored. We will have a special guest speaker, my leadership coach Brian Howard with us. Brian is the former teaching pastor at Sojourn Church, a multi-site church in Kentucky and is now the Executive Director of Context Coaching Inc., a firm that specializes in coaching leaders.

If you or someone you know has a hard time living in community or has experienced hurt in a relationship that has not be reconciled, or has a hard time forgiving someone who has hurt them and moving forward, this is a great week to bring them to Revolution.

Remember, we meet at 10am on Sunday mornings at 8300 E Speedway Blvd.

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Monday Morning Mind Dump…

mind dump

  • Ah Monday morning.
  • Pastor, if you got some criticism this morning like I did, just let it go.
  • Excited that this weekend is Memorial Day weekend.
  • I’m off from preaching this week.
  • So excited to have my leadership coach Brian Howard in town to preach.
  • He’s one of the smartest leaders I know and if you don’t already, you should check out his blog.
  • We’re going to take a break from our Galatians series this week and he’s going to talk about reconciling relationships from the book of Philemon.
  • Speaking of Galatians, it was awesome yesterday preaching on Galatians 2 and the topic of justification by faith.
  • Such a huge topic and so crucial to Christianity.
  • If you missed it, you can listen to it here.
  • So awesome getting to meet so many first time guests yesterday.
  • After 2 years of working on the project, I signed my first book deal this past week.
  • So excited for the road ahead and to get the book out.
  • I started training with a fitness coach that is being hugely helpful for my mobility.
  • Of all the areas I’m weak when it comes to working out, it’s mobility.
  • If you don’t have coaches in your life to help you grow in your weaknesses, you will never reach your potential.
  • I finally finished the book What’s Best Next: How the Gospel Transforms the Way You Get Things Done.
  • I’ll post a review this week, but in short, if you are looking for a book on productivity, this is one of the best ones out there.
  • Christian or not.
  • Really helpful.
  • Over the next 2 months we will have some up and coming leaders in our church preaching.
  • So excited about who God has put at our church and the gifts they possess.
  • I’m also really excited about my summer preaching break.
  • It’s a blessing to me, my family and to our church in so many ways.
  • Time to get back to it…
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Monday Morning Mind Dump…

mind dump

  • This is one of those Monday’s that I feel like I am moving through the fog.
  • Last week I spoke at Exponential in Orlando, which was incredible.
  • Walked away with a lot of ideas and was challenged personally in some good ways and had a great time speaking and interacting with other leaders.
  • Then Friday I pulled off some great surprises for Katie’s birthday.
  • Her step-mom flew out from Kansas City without Katie’s knowledge and showed up at Katie’s surprise pedicure appt.
  • Then, I pulled off a surprise dinner with some friends on Friday night.
  • Then after preaching yesterday I feel run over.
  • But in a good way.
  • Revolution Church is in a good season right now.
  • I started doing something different at the end of our services that has yielded me meeting a ton of guests each week, which is exciting.
  • I met 8 first time guests yesterday.
  • Love that opportunity.
  • I spoke about figuring out God’s will yesterday and how we often miss it because of how we think of it incorrectly.
  • It was an honor to see people stand saying they were in a desert right now and being able to pray over them.
  • If you push through the desert and pull closer to Jesus in that time, it yields a heart and character that is impossible to get without going through the desert.
  • Wish I would’ve thought of that line yesterday.
  • If you missed it, you can listen to it here.
  • I’m excited this week for our next preaching lab.
  • This is how we seek to develop new preachers and see where guys in our church are at and how they are developing.
  • We have 3 guys doing it this week.
  • So excited and honored by the leaders God is sending to us right now.
  • One of the great things about flying across country this past week was the chance to get some reading done.
  • Got through Soul Keeping: Caring For the Most Important Part of YouWhat’s Best Next: How the Gospel Transforms the Way You Get Things DoneReplant: How a Dying Church Can Grow Again and The Heart is the Target: Preaching Practical Application from Every Text.
  • Stay tuned for some reviews coming soon.
  • I have my coaching with Brian Howard today.
  • Can’t express how much I have grown as a leader and preacher through this time with him.
  • So, so helpful.
  • Just a heads up, I turn 35 tomorrow, so get your gifts ready!
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Links I Like

Links I Like is a collection of blogs, articles and books I’ve come across recently and thought they were worth sharing. Click here for past Links I Like.

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Dallas Willard on There’s no such thing as casual sex.

Al Mohler on God and the Gay Christian? A response to Matthew Vines.

Recently a new book by Matthew Vines was released claiming to present a biblical case for same sex marriage. Albert Mohler, along with James Hamilton, Denny Burk, Owen Strachan, and Heath Lambert, have produced a free eBook offering a response to the biblical, theological, historical, and pastoral issues raised by Vines’ book. To download a copy, go to sbts.me/ebook.

Hanna Rosin on Your not as busy as you think you are.

The art of busyness is to convey genuine alarm at the pace of your life and a helpless resignation, as if someone else is setting the clock, and yet simultaneously make it clear that you are completely on top of your game. 

Ed Stetzer on Why full and public repentance matters.

Pastors are held to a higher standard and must repent of sin in accordance with that standard. As such, pastors are different, not in value, but in responsibility and expectation. They are worthy of double honor and they are harder to accuse. We can see the practical reason for this– like it or not, being a religious leader attracts a higher level of criticism. If you are a pastor, you are probably already well aware of that reality.

Brian Howard on Social media wisdom for Christians and pastors.

Be wise about what you say online. More than representing Grace, you represent Jesus to the world. As leaders, you are “servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God (1 Cor 4:1).” Take your calling seriously, and think through how your public comments, posts and “likes” will be privately perceived. If you like it or share it, you endorse it. So if in doubt, leave it out.

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Monday Morning Mind Dump…

mind dump

  • Having a hard time getting going this morning.
  • Most Monday’s feel like that, but Easter has a way of taking it out of you.
  • If you’re a pastor and struggling today, here are some ideas to help you.
  • Blown away by God’s grace to Revolution Church this weekend.
  • The Stations of the Cross on Friday were incredible.
  • Love exposing our church to a practice they haven’t done before.
  • I loved hearing from people who have done the stations with us before talk about how powerful they are doing them again.
  • Yesterday was incredible at Revolution.
  • We had 2 baptisms and 7 people take the step of beginning a relationship with Jesus.
  • That never gets old.
  • We had over 100 kids yesterday in Planet Rev.
  • Praying God’s timing speeds up so we can find a full-time kids director.
  • If you know of someone who would be a good fit or is interested in the position, let me know.
  • Loved hearing Davin and Derrell’s story as they got baptized.
  • Humbled by how God uses our church in the lives of people.
  • We kicked off our series on the book of Galatians yesterday.
  • I think the timing of this book will be incredibly helpful for our church as we continue to live in God’s grace.
  • It feels good to be back preaching through a book of the Bible.
  • That is definitely my favorite way of preaching.
  • If you missed yesterday, you can listen to it here.
  • Over the weekend, I started to read John Ortberg’s new book Soul Keeping
  • So good.
  • It reminds me of this fantastic book.
  • Both are much needed reading for pastors.
  • We have our kids homeschooling end of year celebration tonight.
  • Should be fun.
  • I told someone I met over the weekend that we homeschool and he asked, “You can have tattoos and do that?”
  • So funny.
  • One of the things that was cool to see yesterday was to see some people we had invited to church come.
  • Such a cool feeling.
  • You hope, you pray and then when they are there, you pray really hard that something hits them.
  • And that the preacher doesn’t say anything stupid.
  • I’ve been working through my book and I am about 50% done.
  • Excited to keep working on it and see what God has in store for it.
  • Last night Katie and I sat on the back porch talking about it and reminiscing of where we came from in the past 5 years.
  • Crazy to think where we are as a church now.
  • I have my next coaching appt. with Brian Howard today.
  • I can’t begin to describe how helpful this has been.
  • Time to get back to it…
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Links I Like

Links I Like is a collection of blogs, articles and books I’ve come across recently and thought they were worth sharing. Click here for past Links I Like.

book

Carey Nieuwhof on If you’re the leader, you are the lid.

Over time, the team and organization you lead will never grow past where you’ve grown. If you stop growing in an area, people who want to grow past that point will simply find another leader to follow.

Did Jesus have a wife?

Last week, the Harvard Theological Review released a much-delayed series of articles on the fragment. After a series of investigations undertaken by diverse scholars, the general judgment claimed by Professor King is that the fragment probably is not a forgery — or at least that it dates back to ancient times. The analysis suggested that the fragment dated from about four centuries later than Professor King had first suggested. This would place the fragment, if authentic, in the context of eighth-century Egypt — hundreds of years after the New Testament was written and completed…In her major article released last week, Professor King defended the fragment’s authenticity, but acknowledged that — all previous sensationalism aside — “It is not entirely clear, however, how many women are referred to [in the fragment], who they are, precisely what is being said about them, or what larger issues are under consideration.”

Thom Rainer on The narcissistic Christian leader.

Narcissism should not be said in the same breath as Christian. The former is love of self; the latter is love of God in Jesus Christ. The world of narcissistic Christian leaders is complicated by the fact that these leaders rarely recognize their problem. And the disorder may not be readily apparent to those who see them from a distance. They can appear, at least on the surface, to be brilliant and charismatic.

Tim Challies on Help my kids are looking at porn.

By looking at pornography your children have violated your trust and shown themselves unworthy of it. That trust will need to be earned and regained over a period of time as they prove themselves responsible and obedient. You will need to be actively involved in training your children to use their privileges well and to use the Internet and their digital devices without this kind of behavior. You need a plan that will account for their devices and their lack of Christian character. 

Brian Howard on How to avoid burnout.

 Burnout might seem to come out of nowhere, but it really doesn’t. Burnout is often the by-product of poor choices on the part of a leader. There are patterns that lead to Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Collapses. These patterns involve not paying attention to what your body and soul really need.

Three kinds of shame.

Sin is muddy. When it splashes, we rightly want to clean it up. But sometimes our zeal to clean causes us to oversimplify sin’s muddiness by seeking trite answers for complex situations.

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Links I Like

Links I Like is a collection of blogs, articles and books I’ve come across recently and thought they were worth sharing. Click here for past Links I Like.

book

The friendless pastor.

It’s ironic that pastors, who talk the most about the need for community, experience it the least. Our days and nights are filled with calls, meetings, and interactions with people. But despite lots of people contact, we have few trusted peers. We have too many relationships and too few friends. Isolated leaders are a danger to themselves and their churches.

Joel Garfinkle on What great leaders do.

What does a leader look like? Think of two leaders, famous or not, whom you admire and respect. What do they do that is so different? What traits do they have that help them excel at a high level? Leadership is not a great mystery. Great leaders have specific traits in common.

Are pastors kids prodigals?

The survey’s results say no. Barna found that PKs leave the church, experience periods of doubt, and abandon their Christian faith at a rate pretty equivalent to our peers.

Trevin Wax on Why pastors should preach the “why” before the “what.”

Plans are good. Programs are good. But the why behind the plan and the why behind the program is even better.

Brian Howard on Why we can’t be friends.

Most of us like to talk about ourselves. But unless you are in a counselor’s office at least half of any given conversation should be asking questions about the other person’s interests and desires. There is little that is more relationally life giving than having a person take a deep interest in you. Offer this blessing to those you are in relationship with. In a real friendship you are not only receiving but you are giving.

Brian Dodd on What churches can do to ensure guests come back after Easter.

 Churches do a great job of putting significant effort into their Sunday worship services.  I would like to challenge all churches to put an equal amount of effort into your children’s classes and programming.  The reason is because children can deliver “the win” of a 75% return rate.

 

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Monday Morning Mind Dump…

mind dump

  • Hard coming back from a different week, a spring break week
  • It was great having the day off from preaching yesterday and having the opportunity to attend a new church plant here in Tucson with my family
  • Love sitting with Katie in church and hearing a sermon with her
  • If you are a pastor, when you don’t preach, you should go to a different church to learn and steal ideas
  • We kicked off a brand new series yesterday at Revolution called All In
  • Josh Watt did a great job of kicking the series off
  • If you missed it, you can listen to it here
  • He talked about why we should go all in with Jesus
  • Because Jesus went all in for us
  • I heard after church yesterday that Revolution has grown by 25% in the last year
  • And had over 20 guests yesterday
  • So humbling how God continues to move in our church and city
  • I got to share my story at a health and wellness seminar on Saturday
  • It was awesome to share how I lost weight, kept it off and the change Jesus made in my heart during that time
  • It has been awesome building my crossfit box at home and being able to do all my workouts in my garage
  • This weekend, with the help of a friend, I’m building a rack to do squats, pullups, dips and bench
  • So excited for that piece
  • Almost done
  • I have my coaching call with Brian Howard today
  • Talking about what my role needs to look like as Revolution goes from the 250 to 500 size in attendance
  • As our church continues to grow, my role continues to change and
  • I’m excited to be back preaching this week and looking at what it looks like to go all in in our daily lives
  • Changes everything about us
  • Time to get back to it…
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Monday Morning Mind Dump…

mind dump

  • Yesterday was off the charts at Revolution
  • This series on manhood has simply been one of my favorite series, although Beautiful was a close second
  • Yesterday I preached on the battle we fight against sin, temptation, negative emotions and addictions
  • I’m blown away by the example that Samson is for us of what not to do
  • Loved all the conversations I had afterward as people continued to wrestle with things
  • I think for many people, the pain of being chained to something is so great, they just feel like they can’t move forward
  • Always shake my head at the guy who tells me porn isn’t a temptation
  • Let’s say that’s possible
  • If you missed it, you can listen to it here
  • I also have a long list of books, websites and other helpful things here to help you fight temptation and sin in your life
  • Not overly sad that the Olympics are ending
  • We barely watched any of them
  • I’m a bigger fan of the summer ones
  • It also means we are canceling our cable until the NFL rolls around again
  • For the first time since starting Crossfit, I’m taking a week off from lifting this week
  • It will be interesting to see how my heart and emotions deal with it, but I think it will also be good for my body
  • I have my next coaching appointment this week with Brian Howard
  • I’m already seeing the payoff to this
  • Pastors, if you don’t have a coach, you should get one
  • Started a book over the weekend that you should read if you are a pastor
  • It’s called People Pleasing Pastors
  • Good heart work for pastors
  • I can’t remember if I said this last week, but I’m going to Indonesia for 8 days this summer
  • Really excited about how that will change my viewpoint
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Breaking the Chains of Addiction

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I spoke on addiction today at Revolution Church. If you missed it, you can listen to it here.

As a way to help men and women stuck in what seems a losing battle against addiction, temptation, negative emotions and be able to move forward by choosing the hard right over the easy wrong, here is a list of resources we put together to help.

My good friend Brian Howard also has a blog about 4 ways to protect your house from porn, which I would highly recommend if that is a struggle for you or your kids.

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