5 Steps to Wrecking Your Life

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On Sunday, I talked about the reality that everyone, man or woman, married, divorced or single, is always one choice away from wrecking their lifeIf you missed it, you can listen to it here.

The question I always wrestle with is, “How?” How is it possible for so many professional athletes to throw it all away to take PED’s? Why do so many people sleep with someone they aren’t married to and lose their marriage? Why do people gamble with their finances and go into debt in hopes of finding the quick fix? Why do people gamble or look at porn while at work and lose their jobs? The list goes on and on.

In his helpful book Impact: Great Leadership Changes Everything by Tim Irwin, he says there are 5 steps to wrecking your life, or as he would say derailing your life. They are:

  1. Lack of self-awareness. This comes when a person doesn’t know what could bring them down. They don’t know what their weaknesses are. Is it money, greed, power, sex, lust, a bigger house or car? What are they willing to trade their marriage, reputation, kids or future in for? If you don’t know that, you will be brought down.
  2. Arrogance or misguided confidence. This is when a person sees someone wreck their life and says, “That could never happen to me.” This is when a person sins once and says, “I already did it once, what is one more time?” They have supreme confidence they can stop whenever or take back control whenever they choose. Or, that it won’t destroy their life.
  3. Missed warning signals. This might be close calls in getting caught, being late to work for staying up too late, conviction from the Holy Spirit that you push away or even evidence that you might get caught.
  4. Rationalization. This is when you start to say things like, “I deserve this.” Or, “This is my only vice.” Or, you blame someone else for your situation. “If my spouse was more attentive.” Or, “If I had a little more money we could get ahead.” Or, “My kids will understand when their older why I had to work like I did.”
  5. Derailment. Eventually, with enough time, enough rationalizations, you hit the wall and derail your life.

The problem is that no one knows when derailment will hit. Some people get away with something for years.

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You Are One Choice Away from Wrecking Your Life

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Only 2 weeks left in our series Fight and you don’t want to miss either of them.

As we continue this week and look at Judges 16:1 – 22 we see how our choices matter. Most of us make decisions everyday: what to eat, who to spend time with, what to buy, what shows or movies to watch, what to read or what websites to visit. We make these decisions often with very little thought about how they will affect our lives.

Yet, every choice impacts another choice.

Which leads us to a simple truth that we will unpack this Sunday: you are one choice away from wrecking your life. 

The question is, how close are you to that choice?

If you or someone you know struggles with making right choices in their life or keeping boundaries in their life, this is a great week to bring them to Revolution.

Remember, we meet at 10am on Sunday mornings at 8300 E Speedway Blvd.

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Cheap Kindle Books [12.10.13]

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Here are some cheap kindle books. Not sure how long they’ll stay that way:

Here are a bunch of John Ortberg’s books that are all $2.99:

Links I Like

Links I Like is a collection of blogs, articles and books I’ve come across recently and thought they were worth sharing. Click here for past Links I Like.

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  1. Anthony Bradley on Millennials leaving the church.
  2. Brian Howard on How to build the perfect church staff.
  3. Rick Warren’s first sermon since his son’s suicide.
  4. Steven Furtick on Fences bring freedom.

How to write a worship song:

Links of the Week

  1. Planning a devotional life in 2010. This is a great look at how to take the next step in your relationship with God.
  2. The bible reading plan that John Piper uses. If you aren’t sure how to do devotions or what to read in your devotions, this is a great plan to follow.
  3. Mark Batterson on Creating margin. As we move into 2010, one of the struggles for everyone is creating margins. Here are some great tips.

Links of the Week

  1. Tiger Woods trangression & the gospel. Great insights as to what we can learn from what has happened in Tiger’s life.
  2. Aaron Menikoff on Preparing to preach.
  3. Cody Brasher on the courage needed to be a leader.
  4. 7 ways to protect yourself and your marriage from an affair. I wrote something similar about the boundaries Katie and I keep, this is incredibly important for every couple, but especially for pastors.
  5. Mark Driscoll on When was Jesus born? This is a common question I get a lot from people and this is a good answer.
  6. Stuff Christians like asks the questions, “How do you invite people to church?” This will make you laugh.
  7. Pastors are always there for people who are hurting, but what about when they hurt? Who Pastors the Pastor? This is a great article in Christianity Today.
  8. Tim Keller on How to handle criticism.
  9. What if Target operated like a church? Great question, they would probably go out of business or at least turn people off.
  10. Perry Noble on 7 reasons church plants fail. This is right on.
  11. 5 hard truths for church planters. If you are a planter, thinking about planting, part of a church plant or support someone who is, you need to read this. It is hard to describe what planting does to a person and their family.

Posts on Marriage & Relationships

Over the last month during our I Want a New Marriage series I have been doing a lot of writing on marriage, dating, sex and relationships. Below are all of the posts in the order that they appeared on the blog.

  1. 15 Ways to Destroy Your Marriage
  2. 15 Ways to Improve Your Marriage
  3. Book Recommendations for Dealing with Baggage, Hurt and Relational Pain
  4. How You Know You are Slacking Off
  5. Book Recommendations for Dealing with Porn, Sexual Addiction, and Adultery
  6. What is the 30 Day Sex Challenge?
  7. Boundaries in Dating & Marriage
  8. Adultery Ladder
  9. “When we Get Married, He/She Will _______”
  10. Spiritual Warfare, 30 Day Sex Challenge, & You
  11. 16 Ways Not to Fight
  12. Book Recommendations for Dealing with Questions about Divorce and Remarriage
  13. Is Love a Choice or a Feeling (And Why it Matters)
  14. Looking for Love
  15. How a Wife Handles Her Husband’s Sexual Addiction
  16. Book Recommendations for Dealing with Emotional & Physical Needs
  17. Her Needs: Affection
  18. Her Needs: Conversation
  19. Her Needs: Honesty & Openness
  20. Her Needs: Financial Support
  21. Her Needs: Family Commitment
  22. Book Recomendations for Roles, Male Headship & Submission
  23. Why Male Headship Does Not Work in Homes (The Misreadings of Ephesians 5)
  24. 25 Ways to be a Servant-Leader
  25. Recommended Resources from I Want a New Marriage Series
  26. His Needs, Her Needs

Top Posts of October ’09

In cased you missed it, here are the posts that generated the most traffic in October, 2009:

  1. What is the 30 Day Sex Challenge?
  2. How a Wife Handles Her Husband’s Sexual Addiction
  3. When Male Headship Does Not Work (The Men Who are Still Spoiled Boys)
  4. 16 Ways not to Fight
  5. In Case You Missed Saturday (Some Pics)
  6. Say What You Think the Bible Says
  7. Saturday Night Mind Dump… (10/10)
  8. Boundaries in Dating & Marriage
  9. What Church Hoppers Say
  10. Adultery Ladder

30 Day Sex Challenge: Day 5 (Singles Guide)

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Everyday, I’ll be posting the 30 day sex challenge guides, both married and singles. Here is day 5:

In the past, how have you talked with your dates or boyfriend/girlfriend about your sexual expectations?

Has there ever been a conversation to consider limiting sexual contact?

Read Proverbs 15:21 – 22.

Journal your answers to these questions, any thoughts from the passage and what you are praying for.

Links of the Week

  1. Good Friday shots from North Point
  2. Carlos Whitaker on Whether we do the right things in churches (Great post)
  3. J.D. Greear on Bart Ehrman on The Colbert Report
  4. Paul Ingram on Powerful prayers
  5. Craig Groeschel on Boundaries for a pastor (good stuff)
  6. Collide Magazine’s interview with Erwin McManus
  7. Four warnings of burnout from Anne Jackson
  8. John Piper on Unity amidst differences