How Much of Your Past Should You Tell Your Spouse?

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On Sunday, Katie and I talked about how to let go of your past. One of the ways to do that as a married person is to share with your spouse your story, your hurt, possible abuse and pain you’ve walked through. Sometimes, this is something you’ve never told anyone.

But what does that look like and how much should you share?

You may have told your spouse parts of it, but held back some out of fear of how they would react or not wanting to hurt them. I want to encourage you to move forward and have the conversation you have been putting off.

Scripture says that a when a man and woman are married, they become one. We often think of that strictly in a physical sense, but it is so much bigger than that. It involves sharing your hopes and dreams, your hurts and frustrations and even your past.

Do they need to know all of the details of your sin? It depends. Every situation is different.

What they do need to know is everything it will take for you to be one. Until Katie and I shared with each other our past, we weren’t able to support each other, to help each other forgive those who hurt us and we had no idea why the other person reacted the way they did, so we took it personally.

By having the courage to share your past with your spouse, you are able be total honest and get a glimpse of Genesis 2:25 where it says a married couple is naked with no shame.

What if you are the spouse listening to the past history?

Be gracious, compassionate and slow to anger. Listen well.

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