Tuesday Morning Book Review || Relational Intelligence

bookEvery Tuesday morning, I review a book that I read recently. If you missed any, you can read past reviews here.

I meet every Tuesday morning with a group of younger leaders at Revolution Church. We just finished discussing the book Relational Intelligence: How Leaders can Expand their Influence through a New Way of Being Smart (kindle version) by Steve Saccone. To see past Saturday afternoon book reviews, click here.

I found Saccone’s book to be incredibly helpful. The reality that relational intelligence is one of the biggest indicators of success or failure for a leader, growing in this area is important. According to Saccone, “Relational intelligence is the ability to learn, understand and comprehend knowledge as it relates to interpersonal dynamics.”

According to Saccone, a relational genius has 6 defining characteristics:

  1. The story collector
  2. The energy carrier
  3. The compelling relator
  4. The conversational futurist
  5. The likeable hero
  6. The disproportionate investor

Here are a few things I highlighted:

  • As leaders, our capacity for relational intelligence can be the cause of both our failures and our successes.
  • Our ability to forge healthy relationships is increasingly critical to our leadership effectiveness.
  • Relationships have a direct correlation to the quality of our lives.
  • People will ultimately be disappointed with wealth, status, and success alone, but people will thrive and be influenced by the substance and profound nature of their relationships.
  • Leaders have the potential to infect people in a way that moves them forward or backward – and this happens primarily through relationship.
  • Relational intelligence is the ability to learn, understand and comprehend knowledge as it relates to interpersonal dynamics.
  • The purpose of relational intelligence is to enhance the quality of our relationships and expand our influence.
  • People feel known when we strongly identify with a distinct part of who they are.
  • Story collectors focus on drawing out the dreams, life history, and personhood of the people in their lives.
  • Becoming interested in people is not about discovering facts or information about them but exploring what drives their lives, what makes them different from you and mea, and what has shaped who they’ve become.
  • Leaders must challenge normal patterns of thinking.
  • If leaders don’t embrace the importance of like ability, they’ll lose a significant portion of their audience, and their relational impact will suffer.
  • What makes likable people relationally intelligent is revealed in a person’s ability to evoke favorite feelings in their “audience” (that is, the person they’re in a relationship with), in order to produce a positive outcome that serves others well.
  • There is a strong connection between success and approachability.
  • The more likable you are as a leader, the faster people trust you.