I am loving our series in the Song of Solomon, personally, it is incredibly challenging and forcing me to think through how I can be a better husband to Katie. On our flight back from Pennsylvania, I read C.J. Mahaney’s book Sex, Romance & the Glory of God. C.J. is one of my favoritie communicators (you can check out his sermons here) and he nails the Song of Solomon and calls husbands to be men, to be better lovers, but one of the most important things, to be students on your wife. Most of what I will talk about this coming Saturday pretty much comes from this book.
Let me just say this about this Saturday. Ladies, you need to call all the women you know and say, “Get your man and come to church.” I’m going to be talking about what a woman needs and wants. And it is not going to be all that you think it is!
One of the best things he said to find out how you are doing with this is to ask your wife if she feels more like a wife or a mother. Wow.
Here are some things that jumped out:
- In order for romance to deepen, you must touch the heart and mind of your wife before you touch her body.
- The most effective mothers are wives who are being continually, biblically romanced by their husbands.
- Romance occurs when what you know about your wife is specifically applied.
- The chief obstacles to cultivating marital romance are universal: pride, selfishness, laziness and ignorance.
- Time is absolutely necessary to the cultivation of romance and God-glorifying sex.
- The husband is responsible for leading and cultivating romance in the marital relationship. If it is led by the wife, or by no one, that love will take on a different, lesser character. It will not be a love that accurately reflects the relationship between Christ and the church. It will not be God’s highest and best for you as a couple. It will not bring appropriate glory to God. It will not produce that kind of passion and intimacy reserved for Christian couples seeking to live for God’s glory in all things.
- Communication and sex are inseparable.
I think every guy needs to read this book. It was definitely eye opening as I thought about my relationship with Katie and how I win her heart continually.