Her Needs: Family Commitment
This past Saturday, Katie and I taught together in Part 4 our series I Want a New Marriage. We used the book His Needs, Her Needs as the framework for our talk. This week as a way of following that up, I’ll be doing posts through that book, some of the things we said, how to figure out if this is a need your spouse has, how you are doing at meeting that need and how this applies to your relationship.
You can listen to it here.
I’ll be looking specifically at her needs and how a husband fulfills those needs. To see his needs and how a wife fulfills those, check out Katie’s blog.
Need #5: Family Commitment
Admittedly, for many couples the woman tends to be more about family. While many men love being dads, many of them don’t put a high priority on family. A woman, does. This need basically means, if you have kids, she wants you to be a good father.
Women want their husbands to take a leadership role in the family, they want them to take initiative and make the family a priority over other things.
Women want their husbands to be involved in raising the kids, having conversations, discipline, helping with homework, helping to develop them spiritually, athletically and relationally. Statistically, kids will grow up and the relationship or lack thereof with their dad will have the greatest affect on how they are as adults (especially girls).
Here are some ways to do this:
- Meals together with the family (with the TV off)
- Going for walks and bike rides
- Attending church together
- Conducting family meetings
- Playing games together
- Attenting sports events
- Reading to kids before bedtime
- Helping kids with financial planning
- Family projects (that the kids like, not just your chores that need to be done)
How do you do this:
- Just start. The reason many dads fail is because they never get started.
- Daddy date
- Read a book on parenting (here is a great one to get started with that is a free ebook by Mark Driscoll called PastorDad)
- Get around parents you admire, observe them and ask questions
- Love their mom. This is the best way to be a great dad, love their mom.
- You may need to give up some hobbies like golfling and other sports depending on the age of your kids so that you are more available to them.
